Friendships Aren’t Just for When We’re Nearby

True friendship is a rare and beautiful thing. It takes time to build, patience to maintain. It also, occasionally, takes someone brave enough to say, “Hey, this isn’t how things are supposed to be,” to challenge the relationship to change and grow or, sometimes, to courageously realize that it’s time to walk away.

Friendships aren’t just for when things are going well. It’s fun to share celebrations and victories, but relationships only built on these things are missing a strong foundation. No, the true friendships are the ones that carry us through both the good and bad times. We want someone who can laugh and cry with us, dance with delight or pick us up when we’ve stumbled, pat us on the back when we’ve succeeded or just hold our hand when we feel as if we’ve lost our way.

Friendships aren’t restricted by physical location, either. Whether they began as a half-hour bus chat, a walk between gates at an airport, a few hours of music or a cup of tea at a busy convention, they don’t stop or have limits because of distance.

If we don’t communicate, though, they don’t go anywhere. If someone says, “I’m really having a hard time,” but then doesn’t say anything for the next six months, the other person has no idea how or if their friendship is wanted or needed. And, if you’ve heard anyone begin to talk about difficulties and just stop responding, then it’s equally challenging: the one doing the talking can feel abandoned and decide that, despite what may have been expressed in the past, honesty is lacking somewhere.

Friends are like an extension of family with one key difference: we can choose our friends. We can seek people out because we share interests or beliefs or just because chance threw us together and we discover that we find something that resonates deeply within us when we’re with another person.

Time is also not necessarily an issue; friendships are made of quality, not quantity. Of course, a friendship spanning thirty-plus years is much different than one of only a decade or a month. But it doesn’t devalue or diminish any one to appreciate the unique gifts brought by the others.

Age also shouldn’t be a barrier or a criteria for deciding who we will befriend. People from different generations have their own perspective on situations that is unlike anyone else’s, and we do well to cultivate connections with folks beyond our own demographic niche. Same goes for race, religion, sex or economic background. In short, friendship knows no borders and is oblivious of color and creed.

So, to my friends today, whether you are nearby or far off, I say:

If you are celebrating, call me; I want to share in your joy.

If you are struggling, call me: I may have been reaching out to you already.

I can’t know what you need, whether it’s someone to laugh or cry with, unless you tell me.

My friendship didn’t end when we last said goodbye. It is still here in my heart, waiting for the next opportunity to be nurtured and cultivated.

Do you still want to share this journey of discovery and growth with me?

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Explore posts in the same categories: Family and Friends, metaphysics, spirituality

5 Comments on “Friendships Aren’t Just for When We’re Nearby”

  1. Glenn Says:

    Well, I need all the friends that I can get. The good ones are at a premium. They’re rare. Thank you for your unusual insight and warmth. Thank you for reaching out. I would extend the same offer to you (really.)

    -Glenn

  2. halfnotes Says:

    Glenn,

    Thanks for your loving response, truly a reflection of God in the world. Too often, people get “acquaintance” and “friend” confused. I happen to have many acquaintances, mostly because people know who I am (I’m easy to recognize, I suppose, with a guide dog, etc., etc.). But true friends, as you rightly say, are very rare. You’re blessed if you have two or three at any one time.

    Thanks for your expression of friendship. I enjoy reading your blog and your insightful comments on mine.

  3. tobeme Says:

    Very well written and very true. We have many people we know, we have some fair weather friends and if we are very fortunate we have a handful of friends like you described.

  4. halfnotes Says:

    Tobeme,

    I think it’s important to distinguish between the two. There are things I’ll only share with true friends, that all the other people who “know” me have no idea about. Thanks for your visit.

  5. Jessica Says:

    A really good article! I think,it is all true. And I’m happy, that I have true friends.


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