We All Need Healing

Yesterday, I wrote about the need for healers to put away their egos when they are treating another person and the important distinctions between approaching healing from a stance of pity or one of compassion. Today’s discussion centers on the same ideas, but from the perspective of the one seeking healing.

Just as there should be no ego in the healer, there is no need for shame in the one looking for help. I have often said to people that it takes more courage to ask for help than it does to just keep quiet. And as someone who is fiercely independent, it is a lesson I constantly must be reminded of myself.

When we ask someone else for help, we are publicly stating that we are vulnerable, not only to ourselves but to those we are seeking assistance from. In most cultures, admission and acceptance of vulnerability is avoided at all costs.

On many levels, are lives are almost completely dedicated to constructing a façade to protect our soft inner parts. We spend huge amounts of money on material things, food, entertainment, sex, drugs, and beauty in an effort to make ourselves into an ideal we see always just out of reach, an ideal that comes from outside us and that, in today’s society of media saturation and high-speed yet empty communication, bombards us in every waking moment. In a society like this, it is no wonder we are influenced to follow “someone else’s” ideas of who we should be, never once stopping to realize that we have absolutely no idea who “they” are or what gives “them” the credence to dictate how we live our lives.

The first step away from this endless din is to stop, be quiet, and look inward. Yet often, when we do this, we are confronted with disarray. We’ve spent our lives chasing after empty promises, and now, our inner selves are cluttered with discarded ways of thinking, half-formed identities, and, underneath it all, the emptiness we were trying so hard to fill up in the first place by going after all these things. What a mess!

For some people, the view from here is too unpleasant, so they go back to their old ways. For those who decide to do a bit of spiritual housecleaning, however, the job has just begun.

One comforting fact is that, no matter how things look on first introspection, this is a well-worn path. Countless other people have taken the same steps you are about to take before you, and many have either left helpful road guides or are even acting as escorts.

So when you come to someone for healing work, it is helpful to keep in mind that, even if their personal journey is very different from your own, many lessons are universal.

Also, if a healer approaches his or her work with compassion, it’s easy to feel this. There’s no sense of, “Oh, you’re so stupid not to understand,” or “My way is perfect for you,” or “Don’t ask me any foolish questions”.

In my experience, there is only one kind of foolish question, and it’s the one that isn’t asked due to fear. I may have gained valuable insights by following one particular path, but I don’t presume to think that you can’t attain the same goals by going in a totally different direction. And if I practice what I preach about healing from compassion instead of pity, I should be encouraging you to move forward when you’re ready, not hectoring you from the sidelines.

This doesn’t mean I’m going to get down and wallow in misery with other people. I can have a powerful emotional response that triggers a compassionate healing experience without allowing myself to become bogged down in feelings that hinder growth.

For instance, if I hear about a woman who has lost a child, I can relate to her deep sense of loss and understand how the situation might make her feel like she is a failure. But I don’t stay in that place, and because I don’t, I can encourage her to direct her attention away from negative interpretations and toward more constructive areas.

In seeking healing, it is also helpful to remember that the universe has unconditional love for us and always provides for us from this point of departure. The present experiences of life may not induce joy, but the goal for every person is their own highest good.

As a healer, it is my responsibility to convey this unconditional divine love to everyone I treat, including myself. In each of us, there lies something that can resonate strongly with another human being, and these resonant connections are some of the most powerful aids for both giver and receiver of healing. They become bridges that make exchange of ideas possible without lessening the value of either individual. If I approach each healing as a student, always thankful for whatever lessons I will receive instead of seeing myself only as teacher, then growth can occur for everyone involved.

Finally, there is a lot to be said for the place our minds play in healing. I have been both witness to and recipient of healings in which the recipient falls deeply asleep.

First of all, healers shouldn’t go out “looking” for this to happen, because it won’t. And as soon as you start thinking you’re going to put someone to sleep, you’re coming from your own ego and your effectiveness as a healer is diminished.

The reactions of recipients are as varied as the people they are. Some welcome the complete relaxation, while others are terrified by it and resist it.

If you’ve found someone as a healer that you are comfortable with, and they seem pure of agendas, your heart will know this, even if your mind doesn’t get it. The heart also knows that, in some cases, for the deepest healing to occur, the mind has to be disengaged, and so, we fall asleep.

It is never an insult, either to the healer or the recipient, for someone to fall asleep during a session (as long as it’s not the healer, of course!).

These are challenging lessons, and they often get drowned out by all the background noise of our modern, quick-fix, surface-only culture. They are lessons for a lifetime, and we will spend our time on this earth circling around them, sometimes clearly understanding them, other times wandering off in the opposite direction.

As loving as the universe is, it is also patient. There is no rush, as long as we make the conscious choice to begin.

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Explore posts in the same categories: metaphysics, Reiki, spirituality

2 Comments on “We All Need Healing”


  1. That one single choice is the beginning of everything…

  2. halfnotes Says:

    Yes, and as long as you take each moment as a new opportunity to choose, you can move forward without a lot of baggage.


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